The Winner

Kasich Signs ,'No Good Jobs Left In Ohio' Bill

Yesterday,Ohio Governor John Kasich signed the 'No Good Jobs Left In Ohio' Bill promising this to be just the beginning,"I can't even keep track of all the other things we've been doing to bring action to the state of Ohio," the governor is quoted as saying.

According to our Hippocratic Party source,Governor Kasich next plans to turning Ohio state workers legally into 'Illegal Immigrants'."The governor believes,"says our stool pigeon,"this to be the next step to bringing jobs to Ohio.If legally they aren't legally supposed to be here,we can cut the budget by another billion dollars."

"Furthermore,"quoted our talking canary,"The Governor never promised 'good' jobs.It is his theory that if enough over qualified workers leave the state to be over qualified somewhere else,then due to the lower population,unemployment will have to go down."

"Businesses will want to come here,"claims our informant.

Another claim by our tattle-tale is that Governor Kasich has no plans to evoke the old  law of 'Droit de seigneur' ."He may have thought about that kind of thing in Pennsylvania in the old days,but the Governor believes that it not the right kind of solution for Ohio.It is just a smear campaign by his opponents.Though,"added our snake in the grass,"He is action oriented

Our Hippocrat deep throat also pointed out that the Governor is still looking into plans of repealing the child labor laws,"It's not like he's trying to take away their cellphones,or anything."

We'll have further news on this subject as it becomes available.