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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Republicans Adding "In America" To The Lord's Prayer.

Hippocratic sources from deep within the Republican National Committee speaking on conditions of anonymity are here quoted as stating that both Mitt Romney & Newt Gingrich are campaigning to add the words,"In America",to the Lord's Prayer.

"Yes,it's true,"stated our sources.One source went even further,"The 'Pledge Of Allegiance' was meant to be a statement of allegiance to the United States of America.This repetitive enunciation may have been all well and good for the school children to stand up and state every morning during both World War I & II,But the fact is,we needed to win those wars.Saying the pledge every day guaranteed loyal citizenship.

"But,let's face it,"continued the RNC source,"Without,"Under God," to divide "One nation indivisible,"the pledge is just liberal heathen banter."

Both candidates-according to our multiple sources- claim that the idea of adding ,"In America,"to the Lord's Prayer as being their idea.

"Mitt feels adding,"In America," to the prayer would show him to be the more Christian candidate.No one loves Jesus and America more than Mitt.Mitt plans to be the first Mormon to rule a planet before dying.Becoming the leader of the free world is very important to him."

Meanwhile,the Gingrich camp is just as adamant that the ,"In America" idea came from Newt,"It just seems like a good fit,"Gingrich is claimed to have said via our sources,"There may have to be a separation of church and state,but the idea that the state and the church have to be separate is not only ludicrous,but plain out unAmerican."

Strangely,the placement of the words,"In America," inside the prayer is not the issue holding up the "In America" Lord's Prayer annoucement,but an ideological difference on which version of the prayer to use."I don't care which version is used,"Newt is said to had stated,"But it has to appear that I care."

Mitt,on the other hand,doesn't want to appear too concerned either,"Newt has to come to me on this issue.I am the Protestant,after all."

                                                      The New GOP In America Lord's Prayer

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done In America,on earth,
And as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
[For thine is the kingdom,
The power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.]
Amen.

The Hyppocratic Party will have more on this story as soon it becomes avaliable.