5:An Irishman was flustered not being able to find a parking space in a large mall's parking lot,"Lord,"he prayed,"I can't stand this.If you open a space up for me,I swear I'll give up drinking me whiskey ,and I promise to go to church every Sunday." Suddenly,The clouds parted and the sun shone on an empty parking spot.Without hesitation,the man said,"Never mind,I found one."
4:A bartender in an Irish pub sees a man he has never seen before walk into the pub,"He must be the new man in town,"he thinks.So,the bartender goes up to him,"Welcome,laddy,what'll ya' have?"
"Three beers,'replies the man.
"Three beers?Why that is a strange order,indeed,"states the startled barkeep.
"Not at all,"says the man,"My one brother moved to America and the other to Australia.We made a pack with each other,in order to remember each other,we'd always order three beers:one for each one of us.
"The bartender,teary eyed,said,"Ay,laddy,that's grand."
Things went on this way for quite some time until one day the man came in and only ordered two beers!The bartender was broken hearted.When he served the man his two beers,he softly said to him,"I'm sorry to hear about your brother,laddy.How did he die?"
The astonished man said,"Neither of my brothers are dead."
"Then why only the two beers then?"asked the barkeep.
"Oh,that...I gave up drinking for Lent."
.3:An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!"At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
2:Two Irishmen,David McMurphy and Sean McManamon grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas,David developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed,David called to his buddy, Sean, "McManamon, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye."
Sean walked to his friend's bedside and kneels."Seany ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do."
McManamon burst into tears, "Anything David, anything ye wish. It's done."
"Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity."
McManamon was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I
will pour the whiskey. But, might I pass it through me kidneys first?"
1:What do you call two gay Irishmen?Michael Fitzpatrick & Patrick Fitzmichael.
No comments:
Post a Comment