MLK's "I Have A Dream" Speech

The Return Of Ella & Don

ELLA: What?Only an iced tea?

DON:  'Iced' tea?

ELLA: Uh,yeah...tea with ice in it.

DON: It's 'ICE' tea.Not iced tea.

ELLA: No,your tea is iced.Tea poured over ice,or,perhaps,ice dropped into tea.It is not tea turned into ice.

DON: No one calls it iced tea.Except you.It's ice tea.I'll have a nice ice tea,please.I love ice tea.It is never ever iced tea.

ELLA: Besides being totally wrong,you are also totally grouchy.Perhaps you need something stronger than an iced tea?

DON: It is just like you.I need to sober up.I can't afford to walk around with my head in the clouds anymore.You-you prefer to dictate terms,make agendas,Your way or the highway.You talk a good game,but that's all.That's it.You don't do anything to actually solve a problem.

ELLA: It doesn't seem like I am the one with the problem.This 'iced' bourbon I am holding seems to prove that you are the one with the problem.Not me.

DON: Ignoring a problem doesn't make it any less of a problem.In fact,the problem can't be addressed before you accept that there is a problem.

ELLA: Again,I am the one not with the iced tea in my hand.You are.It seems you are the one that can't handle his or her liquor.Booze doesn't make you drunk.You make you drunk.

DON: WoW!Really?What was that two minutes?

ELLA: Aaah...now,this is a great iced bourbon.Never trust a man that doesn't drink.

DON: You're just one cliche' after another aren't you?

ELLA: Oh,sip your little girly drink all you like.Just don't push your un~American cooties on to me,okay?We tried regulating drinking before.That turned out well,didn't it.WoW.This is tasty.

DON: It's all about laws and rules to you isn't it?We have too many laws.Let's make a law to fix that.

ELLA: You're cute when you're angry.

DON: Aah,the old bate and switch.

ELLA: Pardo?

DON: Handguns.You are always preaching the right to bare arms.

ELLA: And bare legs.You'd look good in a dress.

DON: I'm ignoring you.

ELLA: But I'm not going away.

DON: Handguns.Abortion.These two things are smokescreens.

ELLA: You're blowing smoke,alright.

DON: How many of those have you had?

ELLA: Quit trying to regulate me.Go on with your pretty little story.

DON: You got people all up in arms over gun control.

ELLA: Nice pun.

DON: All the while our rights to free speech are being taken away megabit by megabit and you don't bat an eye.

ELLA:-)

DON: Quit batting your eyes.

ELLA: You're sexy when your mad.

DON: Do you know what the Third Amendment is?

ELLA: The right to order another bourbon?

DON: No.It's :No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

ELLA: Honey,we are in two wars.And I don't see any soldiers in anyone's houses.

DON: No,we have not declared war on either Iraq or Afghanistan.

ELLA: Hello,the war on terrorism.

DON: No,you can't declare war on a word.

ELLA: Al Qaeda and the Taliban,then.

DON: No.Never officially declared.

ELLA: Well,we are officially out of Iraq anyway.But don't tell my step brother.Sssh.

DON: My point is the NSA has no right listening in on my conversations.

ELLA: Blah,blah,blah,blah,blah.

DON: I just don't understand why you aren't as upset about this as the government trying to take away your guns.

ELLA: Look,flower child.If you do nothing wrong you should be allowed to keep your guns.The government has no right to take away my gun.It's in the Second Amendment.King George wanted to take away our guns.So did Hitler.

DON: That brings me back to my point:No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

ELLA: What the..what are you talking about?

DON: The NSA listening to my your our conversations.!It's putting a government agents right inside of your and my homes.Listening to everything we say.Reading everything we write.It's against the Third Amendment.

ELLA: If you aren't doing anything wrong,why are you afraid that the government could be listening?

DON: Smoke screen!

ELLA: Hello,I'm the one drinking here.Why are you the one sounding drunk?

DON: Because guns aren't the real issue here.No one is threatening to take away any one's guns.Especially not Obama.He's pro~gun.He has been since day one.

ELLA: Please.Since Sandy Hook that's all he talks about.

DON: To no avail.He knows that.Hell,gun sales have never been so brisk.Obama is a walking billboard for guns.

ELLA: Can't argue that...BUT...

DON: But...since he can't get you to budge on your guns,Obama and the NSA have taken a different route.Hidden surveillances,phone monitoring,reading e~mails.The Feds are in all of our houses and no one is saying a word.

ELLA: That genie is already out of the bottle...and it's too late.The genie ain't ever going back in.

DON: What? How can you be so pro~gun Second Amendment and not care about the Third at all?

ELLA: You're the one that doesn't care.You are doing what you always accuse me of doing:speaking with forked tongue.

DON: Wh..what?!?How can you say that?

ELLA: Aren't you the one always shouting big government over big business?Yet,you've agreed to Google's terms of agreement without batting an eye.You've clicked,'I Accept' to Face Book,Amazon,I-Tunes.You could be giving away your first born child for all that you know.

DON: Yes..but only in order to get their services.Nobody reads those things.

ELLA: You shop at the big chain stores eventhough you know that they monitor your purchases.You have your store cards.How many are in your wallet or on your key chain?We don't need any more gun laws because all we have to do is ask to see Wal*Marts gun purchase records.

DON: Now,wait a minute.

ELLA: All in the name of convenience and cheap third world prices.

DON: I don't buy guns at Wal*Mart or anywhere else.

ELLA: You better,because ~oh..it's okay to let the giant evil corporations follow your every move...but how dare the benevolent government track words or phrases of your conversation.Waa,it's un~Constitutional.

DON: What's that got to do with buying guns?

ELLA: Ya gotta choose your battles,buddy.If you are a law abiding citizen you do and say as you please.Your government ain't coming after ya.

DON: Ya,says you.

ELLA: Hey,I'm the anti~government fella here.But look at it this way.The NSA monitoring us could be a plus for freedom of speech.

DON: Whoa,whoa,whoa.Do you really want that third bourbon?You're really talking trash,now.

ELLA: No,no.Hear me out.When a tree falls in the forest and there's no one to hear it,does it make a sound?

DON: Um?

ELLA: It doesn't matter,does it?No one's listening.

DON: Ah,o~kay.

ELLA: So all these people blogging.

DON: Yes...

ELLA: So now...someone's listening.The tree is making a sound.

DON: Oh,brother.

ELLA: See?Freedom of speech wins the day.

DON:

ELLA: See?See?

DON: Bartender.I'll have a scotch on the rocks.ICED!Make it a double!

ELLA: That's the spirit.Now,that's the Don I know and love.Bottoms up.

An Open Letter To Pete Rose.

Dear Pete,Rose,

One of the most memorial parts of your book was the story you told about your Father.He met you one night outside of the stadium and asked you three times if you were all right.He asked if you were ill.Your Dad wanted to be sure you were feeling okay.When you said that you were ,he asked you why you didn't run out that routine pop up.You replied because it was an easy out.Your father's words back to you were along the lines of,'Sure it was an easy out if you didn't run with all your heart all the way to first base.'

And Charlie Hustle was born.

Now,Mr.Rose,there is a second thing you need to understand.You are banned for life from baseball!You are never going to get back into baseball.You are banned for life!You are never getting back in!As sooner as you get this into your thick brain~that you are banned for life~the better.

But here is another thing,Pete,that you need to know.No part of the Official Major League Baseball Game  may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording or any information storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented, without permission in writing from the Office of the Commissioner of Baseball.


Mr. Rose,you need to sue MLB for 25 billion dollars.

Major League Baseball has banned you for life.Yet,there is,'Pete Rose Way'.While your number isn't hung in the,'All American Ballpark',they use your image at the very beginning of every game on the Jumbo-tron.All sorts of people are wearing your jersey.

Broadcast company's legally can't show your image without the express written consent of MLB.Companies like ESPN,FOX can not reproduce images of you unless they have paid one way or the other to do so.These companies,Tv & radio networks,newspapers,for all practicle purposes have become a legal arm of MLB.

Yet,you Mr.Rose,are banned from baseball.YOU ARE NEVER GETTING BACK INTO BASEBALL!MLB hs said so.

Baseball has stopped you from making any money on baseball.Despite your protests to the contrary,you are banned for life!

Yet,the legal arms of MLB are making a cash killing off of you and your banned image.Everytime they show you at the games they are making money off you.Everytime a talkshow talks with or about you they are raking in money because you are ratings gold.(The hosts don't care what they sell.Today Pepsi is the best soda in the world.Tomorrow it could be Coke).These broadcasters,it could be argued,loose their freedom of speech rights when they are given exclusive rights to sell MLB product

Though you are banned from baseball,you are a Major League Baseball cash cow.

They can't have it both ways.

Mr.Rose,you should sue them for a billion dollars a year for illegally using your image when you are banned from MLB for life!

Mr.Rose,I know this is long shot.But while denying you your rights,MLB and their agents have been profiteering off you long enough.

I know this is a long shot,Pete.

But if you don't run down the baseline,you are automatically already out!

Today Is My 28th Wedding Anniversary

Happy Anniversary,Cute Girl.