Another Episode Of Paranoid Theater

The Republican said: This virus thing is just a ruse to try to take down Trump.

The Democrat said: How so?

R:Everyone thinks America is just getting the virus. Suppose that bad flu we had between Thanksgiving and Christmas where everyone got sick...you remember, schools were closed...what if America got it first? That's why most people will get a mild case. They got immunity. So the only people we have to worry about are the people that didn't get it the first time with compromised immune systems.

D: Er...what?

R: Come on. Do you know anyone that is actually sick? See. It's all to try and take out Trump.

D: That's ridiculous.

R: Oh, yeah? If Trump already knew that the worse was already over, why would he prepare test kits? Why wouldn't he say that it's overblown? And then, bam, he gets blamed for being unprepared.

D: The flaw in your plan is, yes, Trump would look bad at first, but as more people test positive, even with everyone and everything in quarantine, and very few people die, Trump could be considered a national hero for saving lives. In fact, this way, as has already been suggested, this quarantine could last until or past August.
Now, think of this. Just who benefits from the nation not being able gather together in August?

R: Don't tell me?

D: Trump. If you can't have a national convention how can you nominate a presidential candidate? If you can't nominate a candidate, how can you have an election? Can't you just see Trump delaying the election claiming a need for a fair election? Poof! Trump instantly stays president forever.

R: Finally, something we can agree on.

D: What?

R: A man that singlehandedly stops a pandemic is right to delay the election if it can't be run fairly and safely. What else is he supposed to do? What is more important, your Constitutional rights or the people's health and safety?

D: You're kidding right?  "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

R: Of course you would say that. Delaying an election isn't the same thing as taking away our guns. 

D: It's much worse. Way worse. 

R: I don't see it that way. Trump is protecting us from the virus. If we can't protect ourselves how can we live in nothing but fear? If we are constantly afraid, how can we be free? Live free or die!

D: Most all businesses are shut down. How can you live free if you are locked in your house without a paycheck?

R: President Trump, the greatest president ever (the only thing that makes sense right now), is going to take care of us. He is going to cut each and every one of us an emergency survival check.

D: Oh, you mean that socialism redistribute the wealth check?

R: If you don't believe in Mr. Trump, just send your survivor check back.

D: Bernie Sanders doesn't look so bad now, does he?

R: Desperate times calls for desperate measures. I blame Obama. 

D: Bernie! Bernie! Bernie! 

R: I give up. You'll never be on the glorious Trump train.

D: Amen to that, brother.