The Hyppocratic Party has learned from sources close to Tom Cruise that through his connections deep inside the bowels of the Scientology movement that he has ordered the John McCain/Sarah Palin ticket to stop referring to themselves both together and seperately as'Maverick'."We all know that I am the only true 'Maverick',"Tom Cruise is reportedly to have said."Everyone knows that John McCain's true pilot nickname was,'ACE'.And it was not because he shot down five enemy planes either...remember people,he was a bomber pilot...it was because he,and I must emphasize this,it was because he,John McCain,crashed 'FIVE' of his own planes!For John McCain to call himself ,'Maverick',well,it's just despicable."
Furthermore,according to our sources,Tom cruise went on to exclaim,"Senator McCain can use any other nickname,'Scooter','Playboy' or even what he was mostly known as,'Chicken Sh*t'.That's with an asterisk,people.We don't care.Anything but,'Maverick'."
Mr.Cruise's tirade did not end with McCain,"As for Ms.Palin,hot women and sidekicks are never-ever considered to be,'Mavericks'.They ride on back of the bike.A good nickname for her would be,'Goose' or 'Katie'.
The Tom Cruise message ended on an ominous note,"We here at The Big 'C' will not tolerate any further 'Maverick' discretion's.Being sued will just be the beginning of your problems.DO NOT MESS WITH THE BIG 'C'.
When asked if the 'Big C' stood for Tom Cruise,Katie...er...we mean our source,said,"What!?!Oh,of course not,the Big 'C' means 'Scientology',silly."
There has been no word on this account from the McCain camp.The Hyppocratic Party will keep you abreast of any further developments in this story.
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