Stat Counter



Saturday, July 08, 2006

The Drew-The Lousy Terrorist {A Tongue In Cheek Essay}

I have to admit it,I would make a lousy terrorist.It seems quite silly to me to strap a bunch of TNT around my fat belly,walk onto a bus and blow myself and a bunch of other innocent people up.I can see,however,that within a certain group of people,how with the proper motivation,say...47 virgins...this could have it's certain appeal.

I find it absolutely hilarious that the bombers are blowing us up because of our so called heathen ways when they are killing themselves to get what they probably could get,at least in part,by moving to the good ol' U.S.of A.I mean,they say we are evil because of our loose sexual morals,but then they blow themselves up for 47 virgins!?!What else could they want 47 virgins for?Tea and crumpets?

I am not up with turning Heaven into a brothel to begin with.That smacks me as wrong.There must be something to this that I am just not seeing.Maybe it's a wealth or power thing.I don't know.But 47 virgins?I mean,it would make a swell 'Welcome to Heaven party',but...?

I am also insulted on another level.Some of my best friends and relatives aren't virgins.What about my Mother and Grandmother,aren't they good enough for Heaven?What about my wife?Most of my wonderful women friends?Virgins are only virgins until they are deflowered.Then what?Throw them away?This is 'Heaven'???Virgins for the most part aren't even that good in bed.Wouldn't an experienced woman be worth more?

O-Kay,o-kay,let's just say that everything is hunky-dory with getting your 47 virgins in Heaven.I still would not make a very good terrorist.I am just too lazy.Who needs 47 women anyway?Couldn't I just rob a gas station at gunpoint and get,maybe,17?17?Man,that still is too much work.Couldn't I just steal a Milky Way Midnight candy bar from a Wal-Mart and get a nice girl that could cook?Yeah..yeah..now,that's the ticket.That's what I am talking about.That's all I would need.

Hey,you've been real good audience...Peace.Love.Out

3 comments:

Osquer said...

From what I understand, the virgins are not taken from this Earth. They are created in Heaven solely for the purpose of pleasing martyrs. So, not only are they virgins, but they have never experienced ANYTHING! Talk about a yawn fest!

And what about the female bombers? Do they get 47 virgins, too? Too much fumbling for my taste. I'd rather have one or two big sweaty wrestlers and a couple of savvy intellectuals, myself.

Besides, I know where I could easily find 47 virgins here on earth...any Star Trek convention.

BTW when you use a light color for your text, could you consider a larger font? It's just a bit hard to read. Thanks! ;-)

Anonymous said...

LoL that Star Trek line is a gas:-)

Anonymous said...

...then one of the 47 virgins said,"Well what did you think I meant when I told you I could make you explode?"