We're not in Kansas anymore,Toto,I said to myself as they wheeled me through the bowels of the OSU Medical Hospital.
It was most surreal.Seemingly equal parts hospital;conglomerate and television show.This hospital,even at nine something at night,was a hustle and bustle of business as usual.
They wheeled me into a giant single bed room across from the more military ready room than nurse's station.Two nurses were already in my room talking amongst themselves about the work gossip of the day.They flirted with the EMS guys.The guys personalized me to them by telling them I worked for ODOT,"So you're the one responsible for all the potholes?"
They were nice nurses,but they had the demeanor of people that were seriously busy meeting and treating patients.I was-out of necessity-talked about like I wasn't even there.I was their work.The usual poke,clip,take temp,air pressure question,questions,questions routine.
"Do you take any medicines?"(No)Do you(No) (No) (No)(No!)
"See,"The one nurse said turning to the other,"You get the good,easy patient,after all.No pills-no paper work."
"How much do you think his pants weigh?"
(They have scales on my bed?Cha-chang.WoW!)
"Ida know...one point five?"
"It says two thirty one."
Damn it.I'm not a number,"I usually weigh around 228."
"Ah,see,we were right."
Just then,a young looking intern,doctor comes in.{learning hospital...riiight}He has red hair.He greets me,asks me how I pronounce my last name.Looks at my chart.
He says,"So,start at the beginning."
"I was born a poor black child."
"Good reference,"chuckled one of the nurses.
"No,I mean.."
"Oh,I said looking the doctor in the eyes,"Not back that far?OK,I was sitting at my computer waiting for the computer to reboot..."
After I had finishing retelling my story(I was getting it down-condensing it,smoothing the rough edges,keeping it the same),the young red headed doctor moved around to the left(my left) side of the bed.He was holding his stethoscope.Oh,boy,I was going to get to breathe for him.
The name on his jacket said Haas.I said,"My grandmother's maiden name was Haas.You wouldn't be from northeastern Ohio,would you?"
His eyes looked at me with recognition and compassion for the first time.He actually looked at me eye to eye for a moment as if to see if he knew me.He smiled and patted me on the arm,"No,we're from Columbus and Chicago."
He took his time after that,explaining things more leisurely,as with a older friend or an uncle.I was probably going to have my heart cath sometime early tomorrow,but the blood work wasn't back,his boss,the doctor in charge-the big cheese-would make that decision.I would probably have to take meds the rest of my life.But things were probably gonna be ok.Don't eat anything after midnight...He had to go.
WoW!I had touched someone.
They reciprocated.It seemed all night people,people,people..most I would never see again kept coming into my room again and again and again..poking,proding,checking,questioning.I dozed when I could.I dazed when I couldn't.
At one thirty or so,I was rousted awake by some man asking me if I had had an x-ray since I had been admitted.No.Well,you need one.
Great just great.I'm never gonna get any sleep.I'm gonna have to be led all the way down the hall.It'll take for ever.
Suddenly,a way too young pretty girl(seemed my boys'age or younger..another recurring theme) was helping this guy wheel in this "X-RAY machine!He put a board under me,told me to hold my breath-click-they were done,and wheeling the machine back out,"Good night,he said.
WoW!Is there nothing they can't do?
I immediately passed out.As far as I remember,I slept straight through until four o'clock.
No comments:
Post a Comment