Maybe There Is A Dog: October 2006

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

DeWine In The Coconut

OK,Senator,it is a week before the elections and I still have not heard a word of personal reply to the letter I emailed you six weeks ago[see here].Two weeks ago I updated this blog on your (lack of) progress[see here],still hoping to get some kind of reply from you before the election.

Frankly,now,I don't believe I am going to receive one.And I was so hoping to be able to.I was even going to post your uncensored reply for all of my readers to read.Your answer may have effected the way I voted{an answer that was fairly honest may have swayed my opinion away from you being just another Bush lackey},or maybe,even other voters.

Now,instead of believing that you maybe a knight in the cause of American values...I am more and more seeing you as a Monty Python knight clapping your coconuts as you gallop along towards re-election.

I am not totally without hope of a reply....I just don't think I will get one before the election.Is seven weeks to soon to hope for a reply?I am thinking it just may be.What do you say,Senator...is it too soon?

Monday, October 30, 2006

The Monday Movie:It's A 'W' Life

Prologue Number 1:
Somewhat Earlier at the Pearly Gates Of Heaven:

St Peter announces,"Hear yea,here yea,it is now time to judge three of the last non living presidents of The United States Of America.First...Mr......Reagan."

"Hello,yes."

"You are deemed worthy of Heaven.All access is yours,"begins St.Peter,"But Heaven is a big place.God,in his ultimate sense of humour,has decreed that your mode of transportation will be judged by how faithful you have been to your spouse.Mr.....Reagan,how many times have you cheated on your wife?"

"Well...only with Nancy.But I loved her and ended up marrying her.She,well,she was the love of my life."

St.Peter snickers,"Yes,humph,we get that all the time.And did you ever cheat on Nancy?"

"Heavens no,pardon the pun."

"Hmmm,I see.Well,for that you get to traverse Heaven in a 1982 AMC Spirit.Standard shift.You may go.Welcome to Heaven Mr.....President."And with that Ronald Reagan walks through the Pearly Gates of Heaven.

"Next....Yes,Um,"St.Peter clears his throat,"Aaah a Mr....Nixon.

"Hello."

"You are deemed worthy of Heaven.All access is yours.Blah,Blah,Blah,Blah,Blah,How many times have you cheated on your wife?"

Nervously,"Oh,what?Never.I would never have cheated on Pat.Oh,Never.She would of had my balls."

St.Peter stares at tricky Dick,"I see....Well for that Mr....President,you get to drive around Heaven in a 1965 Cadillac convertible.Cherry red.It is one sweet ride,Mr... President.Congratulations.Welcome to Heaven."

"Sweet Jesus-Ah no offense-That's my favorite car."And with that Richard Nixon walks into Heaven.

Finally,St.Peter gets to JFK,"You are deemed worthy;all access...how many women?"

"Hun-dreds and hun-dreds.Some-times three at-once.BUt-in my dee-fence..I really really LIKED IT."

"Hmm,It seems you and King David would have a lot to talk about.,"St. Peter shuffles some papers,"Well,I appreciate your honesty..but...the best I can do for you is a 1934 Schwinn bicycle."

And with that-President Kennedy striding through the Pearly Gates of Heaven-we end our first prologue.